Life of A Sex Symbol

Back To The Club...

2009-11-19T16:39:00.001-08:00

The club remains the same and my extended absence will go unnoticed for the most part. My intention was for it to be permanent. We’re in a recession and unfortunately, plans change.

I approached the front entrance of the club wearing ‘the uniform’. This consists of something with a little style, anything from, jeans to a business suit because clothing won’t matter in a few minutes… The most important elements were the accessories, the wig, false eyelashes, lips that had a shine to no end and tasted like pineapple, flawless skin with the help of MAC and for me, an air of ‘Juicy Couture’ perfume, my favorite. The club had added a nice touch since I had been away. Two red ropes marked the direct route to the front door and gave the place a ‘red carpet’ feeling.

I conjured up all of the confidence I could muster and gave myself a mental picture of my own ‘Sasha Fierce’ tearing it up center stage, bills falling through the air. Not the mental picture I had as a little girl but one that put some sway in my hips and a smirk on my face. That was my most necessary element, an essential tool of the trade, attitude. Approachability is also key. Men want what they cannot have and a beautiful woman with an attitude showing them just enough attention is usually what they cannot have.

Roddy was at the door of the club, wearing black, looking like he could definitely have a couple guns strapped somewhere or other. He looked good, at his best, handsome. He was thick, he was always thick but he looked solid, very solid. He had a strut to his own step and he gave me his best smile. He has a warm smile and it’s genuine. Roddy is our head of security. Roddy is the man that would jump in front of a bullet or snap a neck to protect anyone working in that club. This I know. I feel safe with him there and he takes his position as head of security seriously with good reason. Being one of the premier black clubs in all of Southern Arizona and the only one in Phoenix, we could at times attract some shady patronage. Roddy always has a big warm hug for me and a smile that makes me feel like its not so bad for me to be here after all, reassurance, acceptance. I did not want to come back and work in this club. At 34 years old, this is not where I intend to be.

In this business it was very difficult to find a club that treated you as at all valuable, an employee, someone that mattered to the business. The truth was, in most topless clubs they find young girls by the dozens to strip for money as long as they have the clientele to keep their pockets full and even sometimes if they didn’t. They treated the girls like cattle, they didn’t notice if one was gone for a month, six months or forever. The club management, owners, etc, didn’t usually notice at all, nor did they care. The owner of this club had sent me an email, a month after I left, just to see how I was doing. That mattered to me, it mattered much more than he probably realized. It made me feel there was some sort of respect, some sort of connection, outside of money and the people that ran the place care about the people that work there. That matters to me a whole lot. In most clubs, no one would have noticed had I been gone for months and had they noticed, they wouldn’t have contacted me with much concern, if any. The people I work with and for at ****** ***** are good people and that’s important. It is the little things that make it possible continue to do this job and that was one of them, a big one.

I gave Roddy a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Where YOU been?!?” He had a thick, deep, rough voice, a MAN. His smile was butter though. You could tell he had a heart of gold even though I’m not sure he realized it. Part of his job was to be a hard ass and he took that role to heart but his smile was genuine, a part of him, it could have never been considered hard.

“I moved back home, remember, I told you I was leaving.” He acknowledged that with a slight nod. I looked at my feet. “ I haven’t been able to find a job down there. Then I realized where I was and what I was doing and I raised my head, this was not the place to be feeling sentimental about my employment situation. I was at work! “Thank G-d at this age I can come in and work because otherwise I’d be in some real trouble right now.”

I painted a thick smile across my lips and looked over at him as if this was the best thing in the world and made me immeasurably happy. A lie. I had to lie often once I walked through those doors it was part of the job, another element. I lied about my name, I lied about the answers to most of the questions these men would ask. I lied bout the mood I was in and how I felt about being in this place and I did it well.

Roddy looked over at me as if I was not fooling him in the least and gave me another hug, a genuine show of support. ‘You’ll be fine baby girl. You look damn good!” He smiled and grabbed my bags from my hands, opened the door for me and I walked back into the club…

Remembering Red...

2009-04-10T12:40:00.001-07:00

Remembering Red...

... Continued from Part 2, 'The Bay'...
... (Below) ...

I was ready to jump out of that car at his response but I knew better than to let my emotions get the best of me so that I put myself in an impossible situation. I was afraid to hear his response, afraid of what it might be, afraid he would say yes, that is exactly what he wanted me to do.

"You have a mouthpiece! You can get me to spend every dime I have to my name, not to mention all the others you've taken to the cleaners! Why not just talk your way into a damn twenty or two?" He took a deep breath but still, he wouldn't look in my direction. "Just say you quit. That's it right? You didn't want to do it so instead of sticking it out, you quit, you're a quitter."

What? Were he and Daniel in kahootz? I didn't see it that way. I refused to work in a whore house. I had already considered breaking the promise I had made myself about nudity. There was no way in hell I was going to put myself in a situation where I was perceived as and treated like a prostitute. If that made me a quitter then so be it!

My man and I went back and forth all the way back to the house and when we got there I went straight upstairs to the bedroom, shut the door and prayed he wouldn't find a reason to wander up there. I slipped out of my clothes and slid under the covers, my favorite place to be when I am unhappy, nice and cozy in bed.

'I want to go home. I just want to go home...' Kept running through my mind. I was a big fish in a small pond at my club in Phoenix. I knew how to make my money, how to relate to the customers. I knew the other dancers, I knew the managers. I was well liked at home and I did my job and kept my self respect without sacrificing money in order to do it.

I let my mind wander back to All Star. There had been so many people there. the club was packed every single night. Every stage money flew through the sky the whole time I was up there, if it didn't we stayed on that stage shakin' and movin' until it did. I didn't do a single stage for less than a couple of hundred dollars. There had been so many good looking men there and women as well, for that matter.

The women had come to work at our club from Houston, Atlanta, LA, Sacramento, Florida and probably a bunch of other places I haven't mentioned. There were girls in all shapes and sizes from all over the place and no one had to go home empty handed. There had been one dancer that had caught my attention though. She caught my attention like no woman had ever done before. She was fair skinned, same as me and her body was curvy but in no way fat at all. She was far shorter than I was and her hair hung past her shoulders wavy and full, framing her face perfectly. She had full lips, perfect skin, light brown eyes and a beautiful smile. She looked like she belonged in a magazine or on TV somewhere, not in a topless bar. I stared at her long enough one night in the dressing room that she approached me, asked my name.

"I'm Ginger. I'm sorry for staring, I know that's rude. I don't like it when people stare at me." That wasn't true, I was usually flattered. "You really are beautiful and I am critical so trust me, that's a compliment. I don't think half of the Hollywood starlets are beautiful. You've got most of them by a landslide." I smiled at her. It was an innocent enough compliment, definitely the truth, she was beautiful.

"Are you from here?" She asked. "I'm from Dallas. I came down just for All Star. I don't know anyone though, I'm pretty much on my own." She smiled at me. "You're beautiful yourself. I bet we could pass for related, though, huh?"

I looked at her and realized she was probably right. We looked similar in a lot of ways. I was taller than she was but other than that, we could have been related. "Thank you, I'll take that as a compliment for sure. I work here in Arizona, Phoenix. I'm from The Bay area but I've lived out here far too long not to be considered a native." I smiled at her then. "I'll have to come out to your club for All Star next year. It's in Dallas, right?"

She looked down at her perfect feet and smiled. "Yeah, we have All Star in Dallas next year. You should come." She hesitated, looked around and then back at me. "Hey look, in Dallas we work together a lot. One other girl and me. We go around the floor and dance together, sell ourselves as a team. Play up the girl/girl thing, you know, like we're all into each other and not afraid to show it. It eliminates the competition since we are the same 'type' and the guys love it, we'd make way more money. I mean, since we have to do stages with another girl anyway I thought, maybe, we should work together and cash in on these guys as much as we can..." She seemed so embarrassed when she asked me that, like she was really shy about it.

"Yeah, we can do that, that's a good idea. I did that back in the day with my homegirl in Tucson, I was younger and worked at the club out there. She passed away though. I hadn't really done it since. You're right though, we'll do that, it works, that's for sure." I smiled at her. "I'll tell the DJ, what's your stage name?"

"I'm Red." Then she paused, I waited though, I could tell she wanted to say something else. "My real name is Patty though." I shook her hand.

"My real name is ****** but like I said, they call me Ginger in here. Its nice to meet you." Her hand was light, it was delicate and she didn't squeeze my hand like she was fighting for attention, she shook it gently, she was sexy, a quality I didn't find myself usually noticing in women.

I took off in the direction of the DJ booth and went to tell him that I'd be doing my stages with 'Red', it only took a minute. The DJ was relieved he didn't have to match me up with someone as a lot of the girls let him do it and then complained that he had chosen someone not to their liking. I headed back to where I'd left 'Red' and found her on the way to follow me to the DJ booth. I spoke first.

"So, how do you run this? Just ask them if they want a double dance?" I raised my eyebrows in a curious way. "Like we do on our own, just together, right? Or do you have a hustle that works better with this thing you've got going?" She smiled before she responded.

"I mean, I think the best way to do it is to play on their fantasies, let them think you and I are into each other and they get to peek in on our little 'thing'. They love that! So, you know, walk close together, rub and touch, do like you would do with someone you wanted to be with that was standing right next to you at their sexiest, trying to seduce you. Keep that in mind and we should be alright, trust me." She had a smile on her face that let me know she was going to enjoy this.

'Red' smelled good, her skin was tanned and looked as soft as silk. Surprisingly I started to think I might just enjoy this myself. "I got you." I said. "You've done this before, you take the lead." She smiled.

"No problem." She reached her arm around my waist and led me to a seat on the floor of the club, it was right next to the entrance that led to the smoking patio but one table over, so that we weren't right next to the traffic going in and out. "Go ahead and sit down, I got this." She whispered in my ear. Her breath was warm and soft and her lips brushed my ear as she spoke. I didn't say a word, just sat down as she had asked me to do. I sat down and she leaned in toward me and pushed my knees away from each other like we did with a customer that hadn't had a dance before and didn't realize he had to spread his legs.

She positioned herself between my legs and began to dance. I wasn't sure how to react. I had been given a dance before but it had always been friends, girls I had known forever and they just weren't sexy to me. We had always done it to catch a customers' eye but it had never been truly entertaining or at all a turn on. 'Red' was different. The minute she leaned in close and traced her lips on my neck I started to react to her. Her breasts were only millimeters from my face and her tongue traced my neck then. A shiver went through me. She stood up and smiled at me. Then leaned back in and whispered in my ear. "In case you were wondering" Then she stopped for a few second. "I AM trying to get your personal attention." She said to me and she sounded out of breath. "You certainly have mine mommy." My body got hot from the inside out. She turned around then, leaning backward so that I could watch her fondle her nipples, then bending over so that her perfect ass was in my lap.

Her ass wasn't close to my lap, it wasn't near my lap, she sat in my lap, rubbing and grinding in places I knew she had to be aware of because she had those places herself. She guided my hands over her breasts when she turned back around and her skin was just as soft as it looked. She expertly traced her own fingers around my nipples, ever so lightly until they were both hard, begging for more. I hadn't expected my body to react that way but it was like I didn't have control of it, at all. I reacted to her involentarily and I liked the way it felt. I was feeling good but I wasn't in control, 'Red' was running things, she had my full attention and she knew it. She was making me feel good, feel things I wasn't accustomed to feeling and she knew it.

Finally, when I felt like this was getting out of hand, I didn't know how to react or what to do in response to my unexpected attraction to her. The song ended and 'Red' smiled at me, she was happy with her performance. How could she not be. She was sexy, that was for sure, I had my lap dance down to a pretty erotic show myself. The two of us would give these guys a real run for their money, that I knew. If I were a guy I would have given 'Red' all of my money but for the both of us? They would empty out their account to whatever limit our ATM gave them, this I knew.

'Red' leaned over when the song was over and started whispering in my ear. "Who do you want to dance with me for mommy?" She asked as if we had our pick of men in the club. Usually I had a rule never to dance for a man I was attracted to, it could lead to problems. I didn't think I could be attracted to any of these men more than I was to 'Red' though, so that rule was void for the night. My eyes wandered through the club for a tall man I had been eyeballing since the day before. He was an athlete and I usually tried to keep my distance from them but this would be all in good fun, not to mention money. Athletes did have plenty of that most of the time.

Sure enough, when my eyes finally found the man I was looking for, his eyes were on us as well. He was staring at us as if he had never seen women before. 'Red' raised an eyebrow at me as she followed my eyes to where he was. Then, she simply put up her pointer finger and gestured for him to come to us. He did.

"We want to dance for you daddy." She said to him when he was close enough to hear what she had to say. He looked at us both carefully and smiled from ear to ear.

"It would be my pleasure ladies." He sat down when I stood up and 'Red' sat on his knee. She reached for me and I came close to her.

"Isn't she beautiful?" She asked him, never taking her eyes off me.

Her gaze was different from a mans, she looked at me like she could see right through me and she liked what she saw all the way through.

"She is." He responded. "So are you."

Then 'Red' tugged at my waist so that I leaned in close to her face. I thought she was going to whisper in my ear again but not this time. This time she brought her lips to mine and kissed me. At first I didn't know how exactly to react but that passed quickly. When she slipped her tongue from her mouth and let it trace my lips I wished it was just she and I in that club. I kissed her back, in a way that was sure to let her know I wanted more and she responded, letting me know the same.

The song ended and 'Red' got up from our customers lap, we looked at each other and smiled. We danced for each other more than for him but he kept us dancing for each other for five songs and it seemed to arouse the attention of any man that could see us. After five songs he owed us $100 but handed me four hundred dollar bills and leaned over to ask 'Red' something. She shook her head no.

"After we leave here it will be just her and I." She said, making the conversation between the three of us now, even though he had tried to talk with her about it, hush, hush.

"I won't touch you. I just want to be there." He said. "I'll be as quiet as a church mouse, you won't even know I'm there. I'll pay you what you want."

He was serious as a heart attach too.

"Listen, we are flattered, really. Right, Gin? We are here to dance though, that's all. I'm sorry."

He dropped his head and looked at the floor. "OK. I understand. Thank you ladies. Best time I have ever had in a strip club." He said.

We took turns giving him a superficial hug and walked away. Within seconds the doorman approached us, we were wanted in VIP. This chick was on top of her game. The whole night was that way. We stayed in VIP, where, during All Star we could charge what we saw fit for dances. 'Red' and I saw fit to charge $50 a dance and loved every minute of it.

We looked at and touched every inch of each others' bodies. We licked and caressed enough of each other too. She was soft, smelled perfect and her touch made me crazy. I have never been one for becoming intimate without knowing a man well but I had never been one for becoming intimate with a woman, at all.

I had looked, thought about how beautiful women were before. I had wondered what it would feel like to touch or be touched that way, even fantasized but never had I acted on it. By the end of that night though, I was going wherever 'Red' was going and I couldn't wait to get her alone. There were places I wanted to lick, be licked. There were places I wanted to touch, kiss.

We were one for after hours during All Star and I had stayed until 6AM every night. This particular night though, 'Red' turned to me around 1AM, "We've made over a thousand each. I want you to come back to the hotel with me." She looked down at her shoes like she was shy all over again. "Will you?"

I couldn't believe she didn't know my answer. I thought it was obvious how bad I wanted to be alone with her. "I thought you would never ask." I said.

'Red looked up and smiled. She kissed me, but this time it wasn't for any customers benefit. She kissed me in a way that made me want to throw her down on the floor right there and just act like there wasn't a bar full of people. "Let's go." I said.

We got to the dressing room and 'Red' pulled out a cell phone and called a cab before she even started to get into her street clothes. I had never even seen her in her street clothes. This was something I never dreamed I would do before but I had no doubts in my mind at all.

'Red' and I got into our clothes quickly and headed for the door. We were almost t the door of the dressing room when one of the girls said, "I wanna go with you two!" The rest of the dressing room broke out in laughter and a few of the girls agreed. I smiled a huge smile and we disappeared through the dressing room doors.

The cab driver got a show far better than any of our customers at the club that night and I was crazy with lust by the time we pulled up in front of the Radisson, only five minutes from the club.

We rode to the top floor and made it to her room, which overlooked the city. We made out on the balcony, on the floor, in the shower, in the bed. I touched 'Red' in places I never thought I would touch on any other woman and she did the same. We passed out from sheer exhaustion just before the sun came up.

I spent every night she was there after that with 'Red'. We would work together and stayed at her hotel. I ran home to get some things and stayed with her the rest of that week. She stayed two extra nights and then had to get back home. She wouldn't leave until I promised to be in Dallas for All Star the following year. Whatever I am doing, I will make sure and be there.

I fell asleep with memories of 'Red' running through my head. I slept like a baby, forgetting that I would wake up with the same conflict with 'my man' but it was nice to have a few hours of escape. 'Red' was amazing, enough so that her memory alone provided an escape...

...To Be Continued...

Can I Live...

2009-04-10T12:14:00.000-07:00

'Can I Live?'
... Continued From 'Remembering Red' ... Below...

I woke up the next morning having slept better than I had in a long time. Remembering 'Red' had put me at ease, let me relax. I realized when I opened my eyes though, I was still in California, still in The Bay area and 'Red' was no where to be found.

I looked next to me and sure enough, 'my man' laid next to me. I had to get back home and soon.
I'd have to play it off though. Having been in the business of making men happy, I had some insight on how its done and pouting wasn't the way to go. I'd play it off, make nice, that was the way to do it. I kissed him on the forehead and his eyes fluttered open. He looked at me, grumbled and rolled over. He had to be kidding! This man had an attitude! This was going to be harder than I thought.

I looked around the bedroom. Sleeping with someone in a Queen sized bed meant you had to get along, like it or not. I preferred a California King even when I slept at home by myself but I really hadn't cared where we slept when I showed up. I just wanted to be there with my man. That didn't look like it mattered too much though. Sometimes people saw what they wanted to see and that was looking more and more like the case this time. My man had a lot going for him but the things that tore us apart and we argued about were so trivial that it seemed like there was a deeper problem that was never discussed. I decided to do the best I could, it was obvious that working together wasn't the best idea.

I threw on some boy shorts, a wife beater and slippers and headed for the kitchen. Freak in the bedroom, woman in the public eye, mommy in the kitchen. That's how it's done. I had always tried to please 'my man' by being all of the things I had learned a man wanted over the years. Most men like to fix things, situations, problems, whatever. They don't like to talk, listen to their women talk about 'feelings'. I made sure I handed my man something to drink before he realized he was thirsty. Made something to eat for breakfast lunch and dinner when I was at home. I made sure I supported his business, did what I could to help, put together a business plan, did the work he didn't want to do, data entry, research, anything I could. I kept things clean, looking good, was a lady in public and a freak behind closed doors. There wasn't much I wouldn't do for him. Not much at all.

We had been into confrontations about money before. He always said it was important for me to find new ways to 'make him happy'. Problem being he didn't spend a whole lot of time making an effort to find new ways to 'make me happy' so, that got old pretty quick. I was the one that set the tone for the relationship. I had started off giving and giving and giving but I didn't feel like anyone was thinking about me or had my best interests at heart. It didn't look like that was something that was going to happen anytime soon. Anything he offered me came with strings attached, anything he gave me came with an expectation of something in return. His favorite saying was 'What are you gonna do for me.' It wasn't cool, it was hurtful.

The only way to do this without conflict was to go ahead and make him happy, let him know I didn't want to ruin the relationship by working together and living together after being apart for so long. Be honest with the man. I made a huge breakfast and the day went smoothly. We went to the pier, hung out, took it easy. That evening it was a different story.

I went to the bedroom to read and 'my man' was downstairs, working on the computer. He came through the bedroom door abruptly, no knock, he opened the door as if he wanted to plow through it. I looked up from my book and smiled at him. I knew though, the moment I saw his face that a confrontation was about to be our reality.

"What's up?"

"You trying to treat me like a trick?" He sounded so mad I didn't want to speak.

"What are you talking about?" I was genuinely confused.

"You think you can just come out here and break me? Spend all my money and then act like you don't want to work in the bar to bring money in? Like the guys at the bar, keep taking my money until its gone?" He was serious.

There was no way. I had come to The Bay to help with his business. He had promised to support me while I was there, make sure I had everything I needed and employ me with his company to boot. What was he talking about?

"It costs money to live anywhere, doesn't it? You ain't paid shit and you have closet space, you here, laying on the bed all comfortably... You think you can just sit up here and not put any money in?"

At this point I was confused. The truth of the matter was, he didn't put any money into the house himself, first of all. Second of all, I had only been there a week and a half and the deal was supposed to be, he paid me to be there, to help with his business, not the other way around. He kept on talking and I listened, hoping I would get a better idea of why he had flipped all of a sudden.

"You stayed here before, you think you're gonna stay here again and not put anything in the pot?" He was practically snarling and if I didn't know any better I would've thought he was under the influence of something, on something.

He pissed me off then though. The last time I was with him in California it was for a month, when i moved from L.A. to The Bay. I not only paid the majority of his share of the rent I had also bought groceries, cooked, cleaned and taken care of him. He hadn't had to do anything for himself at that time. He hadn't had to buy anything for the house, toothpaste, toilet paper, food, anything and the rent was paid, I left $100 for him to pay and paid the rest. He was the one that hadn't put much in at that time. That had been one of the reasons I felt so comfortable staying with him and letting him foot the bill this time. Not to mention the fact that the business seemed to do much better when I was there, putting in 6-10 hours a day and pushing him to do what he had to do in order to get the wheels spinning. Otherwise he would tend to procrastinate and wouldn't get much done outside of what he could do on his computer.

I stood up about 2 inches from his face. "Get out of here. You are trippin'. They were selling ass in that bar. I don't sell ass, not my swag homie." I said to him. "You need to go downstairs and calm down and think about what you're saying. Then we can talk." He just stood there, feet planted firmly on the floor, eyes fixed on me.

"Bitch." He said.

Things escalated fast. We were both fed up, mad and frustrated with each other. I spit in his face. I didn't think about it, I didn't consider the alternative, I just spit in his face. I shouldn't have but the truth is, if I ever get mad enough to raise my hand, that's my silly alternative. Funny thing is damn near every police force in the nation considers that assault so it isn't any better. In less than two seconds I was on my back on the bed and he had his hands around my neck, choking me with more force than I had ever felt before.

I couldn't believe this.

I tried to talk.

I tried to tell him to stop.

Nothing came out of my mouth.

I couldn't talk.

I couldn't breathe.

This wasn't right.

This couldn't be right.

This couldn't be happening.

This was too far.

I couldn't breathe.

I was terrified.

I couldn't breathe.

I was scared.

I reached up and tried to pry his hands from around my neck.

I tried to pull them away.

They wouldn't budge.

I knew I would pass out if I didn't get air.

If I passed out I wouldn't have a shot in hell at walking out of this place.

"Die, bitch! Die, bitch!"

He said it over and over, who was this man? I didn't know this man at all. I kept pulling at his hands and trying hard to tell him that he was trippin', that I couldn't breathe that he could kill me, ask him what he was doing, why he was doing this. I tried to catch his attention, make him look at me but he wouldn't.

"Die bitch! Die bitch!"

I wasn't going to die, he was crazy!

Hell no!

I was going to live.

I was going to live a long time.

There was no way I was going to die.

Not that day!

I finally dug my fingernails into one of his fingers. I don't know which finger it was but I dug hard into it! Dig, dig, dig. His finger seemed to come a little loose. It started to slip away from my neck. I dug my fingernails in with all my might. I knew I only had so much time. If I passed out, it would be over for me, I wouldn't have a chance anymore. Why wouldn't he kill me? He seemed to be set on doing just that and the only one that could prevent it was me. I didn't have a lot of time before I was incapacitated. I sunk my fingernails in as deep as I could, dug them into that one finger, as hard as I could. I wrapped my fingers around it as it loosened up and pulled, I pulled as if I wanted to separate it from the rest of his hand.

Finally...

He let go.

He walked into the hallway and paced back and forth, breathing hard as if he had run a long way. He was sweating, pacing. I cried. Laid on my stomach and I cried. I cried like I hadn't cried in a long time. How could he DO that? What was he thinking? He was supposed to love me, care about me. What was he thinking? This was the man I would call had anyone ever laid a hand on me. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. I had known him for years, how could I have missed this part of him? I cried for at least an hour, didn't move or talk. I just cried and cried and cried.

He left the room soon after he let go of my neck. When I stopped crying and wandered into the bathroom I heard voices downstairs. He was laughing, laughing and talking with his father downstairs, as of nothing had even happened.

How could he act like nothing had happened? How could he act like he hadn't just tried to take my life and came close to choking me out? How could he have done that at all? What was going on? I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone and I knew I had to get out of there. I slid onto the floor and bundled up, wrapped a blanket around me like a cocoon and hid my face. I had seen the bruises on my neck in the bathroom mirror, three fingers. The forth one must have been the one I pried away. The other side of my neck was chaffed and scratched. I knew that the bruises would get darker, with my pale skin I bruised if I bumped myself but this? I knew I would have ugly bruises on my neck and how would I explain? What would I tell people? Could I stay in the house until it went away and who's house would I stay in? I definitely couldn't stay here. I couldn't go home this way, with these bruises on my neck. It would be obvious what happened, it wasn't like it would be at all hard to figure out.

I cried and cried under those covers for hours. He came in and I ignored him several times. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. I cried and cried. Finally, when he came back into the bedroom I stood up. I kept my distance from him but I stood up. "Why did you do that?" He asked me.

"Huh?" He caught me off guard what was he asking me? Why did I do what?

"Why did you spit on me? That was the ultimate disrespect!"

I stared at him in disbelief. He was asking why I spit on him. I would have answered him, even apologized, had he not tried to take my life! I ignored the question. If not, we would have been at it again, I wasn't angry anymore. I was afraid. I wouldn't show him I was afraid but I was. I spoke to him in an even tone, even I was surprised by how strong my voice sounded. I didn't feel strong at all. I was terrified.

"Look, if you don't want me to call the cops, I suggest you talk with your father or whomever you need to talk with and book me a flight on the next plane back to Phoenix." That was all I had to say. I hadn't thought about it or planned it but it sounded good to me.

"I don't have any money." He said it as if I gave a damn.

"That's why you might want to talk with your dad about it. If you don't want to go to jail, I need to get back to Phoenix within 24 hours and that's that." I slipped back under the cover on the floor and didn't say another word.

"Why are you on the floor?"

I didn't say a word.

"Get on the bed man, you don't need to be on the floor."

I was as still as possible.

An hour later, he came back upstairs, this time his voice had some base in it and he left the door open, I could tell he wasn't only talking to me, there was someone else downstairs, listening. Good.

"Pack your stuff up, my dad is gonna take you over to your moms house." I didn't respond. "Did you hear me?" He asked.

"I sure did. Your dad isn't taking me to my moms house, my dads house, or anyone else's house. I'm not showing up on my parents doorstep, crying with choke bruises around my neck. I'm a grown ass woman, I'm not asking mom and dad to save my ass, that's your gig!" I knew that one cut deep because it was the truth and the truth hurt more than lies. "You brought me here, you get me home. That's that. I file a police report, the domestic violence associations get me a ticket or I don't and you get me a ticket, your call." He just looked at me, not knowing how to react.

"Look, my father is gonna..." I interrupted him.

"I'm not doing this. Look at my neck." I turned so that he could see the bruises. "Let me tell you something, I show up on anyone in my families doorstep looking like this and it'll be bad for YOUR health, trust me! This is not any basic, Chris Brown, domestic violence charge. From the looks of the bruises, I would guess attempted murder, look at the damn bruises! They will get worse too, don't get it twisted, they will get worse tomorrow, bruises always do! You told me to die while you choked me." I shook my head. Wished I could shake the recent memory out of my head. "Trust me when I tell you, we're talking about some years and I will not be afraid to testify against your ass!"

I was referring to the case with my sons father. He had aggravated assault charges in the 2nd degree. He had put a tasar on me for forty five minutes. Everytime I thought I could get up, he would turn that thing on and sting me again. He was on crystal meth and on a binge, looking for money to get high and I had refused. We hadn't been together in years when this happened but it happened, never-the-less. I had second thoughts about testifying about what he had done to me. 'My man' knew that and might have thought I would have the same pity on him. He was wrong. He was a better man, I expected more from him, he knew better and he was stronger. He wasn't on drugs, he had more discipline and whatever my reasons, I would not have any problem testifying against his ass. I turned to face him then and my own voice sounded unfamiliar. I was proud of the strength that came through in my voice. I only said one thing;

"Get me home."

"I'll take my chances." He said.

"No, you won't. Trust me, it won't be taking any chances. You're choosing to go to jail. If thats your choice, I'd rather not but oh well." I was raising my voice at this point but I didn't care. I grabbed my purse and started to head for the door. The police station was only a block and a half away. I could walk there.

All of a sudden his father appeared in the hallway. He directed his son to go downstairs without saying a word. When he started to walk down the stairs his father assured him he would handle it. Thank goodness. His father was a smart man, he was fair and considerate and had a lot of life experience. I knew this would be settled and settled fairly and quickly with him taking care of it.

"If you don't want to go to your family, what is it you need?" He asked.

I intentionally turned my head so that he could see the bruising on my neck, so he knew what he was dealing with. This wasn't some simple matter where I had been pushed and I was freaking out and his dad needed to know that. He grimaced when he saw my neck, then he looked down and shook his head. I saw the shame on his face. I knew he understood that there was nothing I could've done that warranted that. We both knew it and hopefully he would help his son to understand as well after I was gone.

"Your son brought me here, he asked me to stay three months." His face said that he had no idea I would be staying that long. Then he spoke.

"Let me tell you what I've been told, OK?" I nodded in agreement, curious as to what he had been told about my presence here. "My son came to me and asked if I would mind you staying here for two weeks." He looked down at the floor then and shook his head, as if he were unhappy about that.

My mouth dropped open but I didn't say a word. What had he intended to tell his father in a few days, when the two weeks had passed and I was planning to be there for another two and a half months? What if his father and I had been in a conversation and I mentioned how much I would miss my son, being away from him for three months. We sat ad talked often. What did he plan to tell us when we discovered he had been lying to both of us? Thank goodness I wouldn't have to deal with that. His father continued talking.

"Now this is his house but I live here and I pay bills here also. I was very hesitant to say yes because you guys have had conflicts in the past and I didn't want to deal with any arguing but I said yes out of respect and because I trust my son to have that same respect for me. I don't know what type of arrangement you two had but I was under the impression you were here for two weeks to help him out with some things." He paused for a moment again. "now things have gotten bad and we have to come up with some sort of agreement that everyone can live with and part ways like adults." What he said made sense and I was glad he had stepped in for his son. He wasn't at all emotionally involved, he wasn't angry and he simply wanted to end this with as much dignity as possible. That would be better for everyone.

"OK. Well sir, your son asked me to come and work for him for three months, offered to pay me to do so. He agreed to provide me with a ticket here and a ticket home. I was here to spend time with him, make some money for the company and for myself, help him get this business off the ground. We came up with some great ideas together, we inspire each other, we even compete which makes for more success all around! I thought it would be a mutually beneficial arrangement." I stopped talking so that I wouldn't start to shed more tears. What I had said was the absolute truth. I had honestly believed that my being there would be beneficial to both of us and most of all the company. I took a deep breath ad continued to talk.

"If I am not staying, I need to get back to Phoenix and its his responsibility to get me there. If that isn't a possibility I have no choice but to contact the police and they can assist me in getting back home to Phoenix." I paused again for a few seconds. "I'm not going to run crying to my parents under any circumstances. That isn't an option for me. I'm a grown woman and my parents are not at all responsible for this situation." I was going to leave it at that but then decided not to.

"I'm not buying my ticket home and neither are my parents. I will be going home though and in the next day. It'll be him, someone on his behalf or a victim advocate program through the police department that gets me a ticket home. No disrespect intended sir, this is just the way it has to be. I don't mean it to sound like a threat and it isn't your responsibility either, I just have to get myself home and my parents won't be getting me there." I was surprised again with the way I had clearly ad respectfully expressed myself. I hadn't downed anyone, hadn't been rude and I didn't sound scared even though I was more frightened than I had been in years. I was frightened and my heart was broken.

"I'll buy the ticket. Is that all you need, a ticket home and things will be squared away?" He asked incredulously.

"That and a ride to the airport. Yes sir." I shook my head in agreement, it was a pretty simple fix, considering what had just happened a few hours before.

"Consider it done." He said it firmly and I didn't offer an apology for his son but I saw one in his eyes. He didn't approve of what he had done and he had not been the one to show that kind of example while his son grew up. This I knew and I respected the man. I don't think it was a learned behavior at all, I couldn't imagine that he had seen anyone treating women that way growing up and he had never mentioned such a thing. In all of the conversations we had about his childhood, that had not been a part of it.

I'm not the crying type, not anymore. For years I was a crybaby but these days it took a lot for a tear to roll from my eye. I had cried more in those few hours than in the entire year previous, probably twice as much. There was no way to go back and change it, no way to correct it. This was just something I'd have to feel and it hurt, it hurt bad.

Within 30 minutes I had a ticket home, my plane left in 5 hours. I had just enough time to pack my bags, shower and get to the airport. I did. I called my brother and asked if he would drive me to the airport and he agreed. When I realized though that waiting for him would put me at the airport only a half hour before my flight I walked downstairs and talked with 'my ex man'. His father had gone to work, we were there alone but I wasn't afraid anymore. After his father saw what he had done, I think he was ashamed and I believed that was enough to stop him from laying another hand on me, if nothing else.

"Look, my brother won't get here in time for me to make the flight. Do you know when the next flight is?" I asked him this without even considering he could take me, as far as I knew his truck was outside on a flat and he hadn't had a chance to fix it with all the commotion.

"You need a ride to the airport?" He asked.

"I do. I don't want your mother taking me though, it would be really uncomfortable and..."

He stopped me. "I can take you."

"OK. Lets go." I said.

I wore a blouse with a collar, it hung low, about as long as a mini-skirt from years ago, leggings and heels. On the ride to the airport I couldn't help adjusting my collar. It rubbed against my neck where it was chaffed and scratched and it hurt. The skin was bruised and sore and it was uncomfortable.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"No. I'm not alright." That answer fell out of my mouth without a thought and before I even intended to speak. "My neck hurts, it hurts a lot."

"I apologize." he said.

I didn't respond. A day late and a dollar short is an understatement. I was so relieved to see the airport that a smile actually came across my face. I was going home! No more tears, no more arguments, no more fear, I was going home! The last 24 hours had changed my perspective completely. I was so glad to be going somewhere I felt safe. i had taken it for granted that I had felt safe with 'my ex man' before this happened. That was something i would never take for granted again.

I shed tears on the plane home, cried for what I had lost. When we landed I felt like I had been given a second chance at life. I could have died with that mans hands wrapped around my neck. I made a decision then and there to earn at the club what I had planned to earn in The Bay over those three months, $10,000. That would be my goal and it was definitely reachable. I had to work smart and hard. Now I would have expenses, rent, bills, etc. While I earned the money I needed to go and find a job in Tucson.

With the economy the way that it stood, I knew it would be difficult to find gainful employment in the small town my son and I had called home for most of his childhood. I had no doubt I would earn enough to support us until I found a job though and whatever job I found would work out just fine. I still had a spot dancing at the club I loved most in Phoenix and I would take advantage of that. I had a new road to travel and I felt content and secure I could travel that road and get to where I needed to be....

The Bay Part 2...

2009-04-10T12:12:00.001-07:00

The Bay Part 2
Continued from below...

…I looked around carefully and my eyes came to a young man, standing near what must have been a bar at one time or another. They didn’t serve alcohol or anything else in this place anymore. The closest they came was a machine where you could buy $2 drinks for $7. This young man was tall and he looked comfortable there, as if he had been there before but he was taking everything in, same as I was. He let me know with his eyes that it was OK to approach him, so I did.

“Hi, I’m Ginger. I just started here today. You come here a lot?” I had to tilt my head a little to look up at him, even in 5” heels. He was definitely handsome.

“How you doin’ ma?” He was speaking to me but his attention seemed to be elsewhere. He spoke in a way that let me know he came here more often then I had originally assumed. I still hadn’t found a level to keep my voice so that someone nearby could hear what I had to say but I wasn’t yelling at the top of my longs. He had it down pretty well. Something told me he wasn’t so young and innocent either.

“I’m doing well. How are you?”

He looked down at me and smiled, chuckled a little bit. “Why you yellin’ at me ma? I can hear you, you ain’t gotta be THAT loud.” He leaned over and laughed a little bit more. I was embarrassed.

“This your first time working in a club?” He asked me that and kept his eyes on the two ladies on the stage, they were going at each other like they were alone in their bedroom. I wasn’t sure if it was my imagination but it looked to me as if the girls onstage were more concerned about what I was saying to this guy than he was. Each of them turned their heads periodically in our direction and kept their eyes on us as long as possible without messing up their stage show. Only why would they both be worried about what we were talking about? I decided I was imagining things.

“No, I’ve danced before. I’ve never danced nude before but I’ve danced before.” I waited for his eyes to look in my direction.
“Really, why’d you decide to go nude? What did you do before? Topless?” His eyes landed on me for a brief couple of seconds but not very long.

“Yeah, I worked in Arizona. I just got out here to the city and this is really the only black club out here…”

His eyes looked at me critically then. He let them travel up and down my figure slowly and then he studied my face. “That makes sense. When do you go on stage?”

He looked away then. “I don’t think I’ll be doing any stages tonight, Danny just has me working the floor. Getting a ‘feel’ for the place.” I rolled my eyes to show my displeasure with that arrangement.

He smiled, smiled from ear to ear then. “Danny, huh? Does he know you call him Danny or did you do that on your own?” He looked at me right in my eyes then and I thought I saw some respect in his eyes. On the other hand though, it could have also been pity. Challenging Daniel that way may not have been my most ‘genius’ moment.

“He knows I call him that. It isn’t his favorite thing in the world but he hasn’t forbid it or anything.” I wondered how this kid knew Daniel or if he was even a kid at all. The more we talked, the more I began to doubt it.

“Could be why you aren’t doing any stages Miss Thang. You might want to reconsider that whole ‘Danny’ thing. He does run this place you know, there are no other managers here so most of the decisions come down to Mr. Danny. It’s best to stay on his good side. Not that you asked for any advice, just giving you a heads up.”

Right then one of the girls that had been on the stage walked right up to the guy I was talking with and kissed him on the mouth. “Hi daddy.” She looked over at me. This girl couldn’t be any older than 19, she was really looking me in my eyes as if in her opinion I might not need to be talking to ole boy. Then the other girl from the stage joined her and they both took to giving me dirty looks, standing on either side of the young man. This wasn’t a young man at all, he was like me, he just looked young and lost and it probably served his business well. One thing I knew for sure though, he wasn’t nearly as lost as I was. Mistaking a pimp for a young man who was there to get excited at one look at me in my little bikini was a pretty big mistake.

Oakland was famous for the ‘pimp game’. These guys came in all shapes and sizes. I didn’t know from experience but I knew. I had been told all about it and there was no other reason both women would have deferred to him that way. They were both beautiful girls. Slender, very slender and far skinned. They looked so young though, I felt kind of sorry for them, it was obvious they were ‘his girls’, I knew it from experience, there was no real reason for me to assume such a thing, I just knew. There is a certain vibe that goes on between a pimp and his ‘girls’. It isn’t a boyfriend/girlfriend vibe or similar to what you saw in any other relationship. Once you felt it, you could always recognize it in the future, no one had to tell you, no one had to confirm it there wasn’t anything else like it. It was almost obvious. The way the pimp would act as if the girls were his property and the girls would act like the pimp was some sort of King. It scared me that I hadn’t picked that up from him at first. In The Bay these guys had a tighter game, they knew how they wanted to be perceived and made sure they were perceived that way. A pimp in Arizona could be spotted on sight, easily. I knew one, one I was able to talk with without worry. I told him when we met that wasn’t my bag and he respected that, no beef, he was just cool about it.

I left the threesome standing there and sat down back upstairs by the railing. I was approached by several men as I sat on the upper level, watching. None of them wanted a dance on the floor though and none of them needed a tour either. The smell was getting to me. It wasn’t a faint smell, like the one that took over our bar in Phoenix when there were more than 40 girls or so. That was more like a very weak, muted smell of body odor and womanliness. This was a smell of sex. This was the smell I figured had to be around in the days of Sodom & Gamora. This smell gave me a headache and made me wonder if they had had some sort of orgy in the club, before club hours.

The girls on the stage were naked, and they rubbed every part of their bodies everywhere on that stage. It freaked me out that no one went up there with a towel and some bleach, simply for hygienic reasons. Someone cleaned off our stage in Phoenix every few girls and they weren’t naked. I started to wonder how much of each girl was left behind and what exactly was all over your hands when you finished gripping that nasty pole. When I paid close attention it wasn’t hard to figure out, there was plenty left behind and no one was worried about it. Why didn’t they just run it like every other club? The dang police station was right next door I couldn’t figure out how they got away with not doing everything by the book and there had to be a rule about taking care of bodily fluids left behind on the stage. I hoped there was a rule about it, who knows. We were in San Francisco, the most liberal city arguably in the country. There may not be ay rule at all for all I knew.

Looking back, the orgy was probably going on right then, in the dungeon as I was sitting there wondering about all of this. My next two hours were spent watching, checking out my surroundings, wondering how if at all, these girls were making money. Each time anyone headed down the stairway to ‘The Dungeon’ they handed the doorman that stood at the entrance $40. I finally gave in and asked one of the bouncers why. He was a tall, sturdy, handsome man and he had made sure to be next to me anytime he could, all night, so I asked him.

“Why do the girls always pay $40 when they go down to give a dance?”

He looked at me like I wasn’t only naïve but in trouble. Then he answered me, carefully. “The girls have to rent the rooms downstairs, its $40 an hour.” I looked at him, confused.

“Why would they pay for an hour to do a dance? How much do they have to charge to make any money if they are paying that much for the dang room?” I waited for an answer.

He just looked at me. “Think about it baby, you’ll catch on.” He started to walk away. Then he turned and approached me again. “This may not be the place for you. I mean, you danced in Phoenix right? You danced in a black club out there? How did it work out there?”

I was glad to let him know, maybe then he would understand why I was so confused about this place and fill me in, finally. “We did dances for $10 on the floor, $20 in VIP, house fees are always the same, its topless, guys buy drinks, they have a good time and take their asses home. No one under 21 allowed. It’s pretty simple. What is the big secret in here?” I looked at him and hoped for a direct answer. I thought I knew what he would say but I didn’t want to assume unless someone told me what was really going on.

He smiled. “Look, that is not the way it works in here, you need to take a look around you ma, look at what’s going on and make sure you understand before you go down there trying to charge these dudes $10 for a one song dance in that dungeon. I mean, you could probably make some money on stage since you’re here and all…”

Yeah, right. “Daniel wants me to wait and audition another day, I’m not doing stages.”

“Look, you didn’t hear this from me but if you go down there, you are gonna be doing more than dancing and that’s just true. You need to think about what your limitations are before you make a decision about what you’re gonna do.” He tipped his hat and walked away at that. I was flabbergasted. I wasn’t trippin’, I knew it these girls were giving it up! How the hell do you meet a stranger in a strip club, take them downstairs and do the nasty with them for money? How much money were these cats spending? It couldn’t be anymore than a couple hundred dollars and they could make that on stage so why do all that?

I looked around one more time, decided I would try and get what I could and get the hell out of there. I approached several guys, asking if they wanted a dance, they looked at me like I was crazy. Thse guys expected more and they were pretty clear about it, there wasn;t going to be too much confusion. When I finally made it down to the dungeon, all the wondering was over. I made it into a room after the innocent looking older man I came down there with paid the doorman his $40. I told him all I would do was dance, he seemed content enough with that.

We headed down the stair and the long hallway into one of the imy room. He sat down and pulled me to him, right away. “You know mommy, you don’t have to dance if you don’t want to.”

I looked at him and tried to smile but couldn’t do it. “I’m here to dance, I told you upstairs that’s all I do.” I stepped away.

That was when I heard sex sounds coming from the room right next to us. Some one was not trying to keep their interaction too quiet. “That shit turns me on. That doesn’t turn you on mommy?” He reached for me again.

“No, I’m out. I walked back into the hallway and up the stairs. I stopped at the doorman and told him to give the man his money back we wouldn’t need the room. He laughed. “I got you ma, I got you.”

I walked straight over to my tall, handsome bouncer and asked him for his phone, snuck into the restroom and dialed my mans number. “Come and get me.” I said into the phone. No hello, no hey baby, just that and he said alright in response, said he would be right there.

I went down to the dressing room and started to get dressed.

“What are you doing girl?” It was the other new girl, “Why don’t you stay? We can hustle together, don’t leave.”

I looked at her like she was looney. “I’m out, I already called my ride.” She walked away, I guess I had a little bit of an attitude.

The girls in the dressing room were being told by the man that apparently lived down there, in a small room that was closed off before, not to flush condoms down the toilet or leave them in the shower because it clogged up the drain all the time.

I was disgusted and ready to literally throw up, my head was pounding. I made my way upstairs and saw Danny greeting people as they came in. He looked surprised to see me dressed. “I’m out. This isn’t my type of party. You should’ve just told me from jump what was up, saved up both some time.”

He just looked at me then, “So, you quit? You don’t strike me as a quitter.” I could have slapped him at that moment. I just wanted to be home in Phoenix at my club and soon enough, little did I know, I would be.

I walked outside and had never been so glad to see my man in life. I hugged him right off, the minute I saw him. We headed away from the club and the minute we got into his Benz, I broke out in tears. He looked over at me then, asking no questions. This fool had known! He was trying to pimp me! Was he crazy? I had known him 6 years. He had to know better…

… To be continued.

The Bay

2009-04-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

I'm from San Francisco, I was born there and spent half of my childhood in the city. Going home for 3 months sounded like one of the best ideas I had heard in a long time. The plan was to go and work with 'my man' (the first to be called that in years), doing promotions with his company for the #1 club in Oakland. I helped to put together the business plan for the company a couple of years ago so I thought I knew enough about that business to make it profitable for me to be out there. Well, that part of the plan didn't work out... We were far too involved personally to work together. I was there not even 2 weeks and caught the first plane smoking back to Phoenix. While I was there though, I went to work at the only black owned and operated strip club in the Bay area and that was a very interesting experience, to say the least.

"I had been working at the only black owned and operated strip club In Phoenix before that, a topless bar. All Star weekend had been amazing and exciting. The strip club in Phoenix had been so packed that there wasn't even much room to move around and money had been thrown up in the air so much it was always stuck in the ceiling here and there at the end of each night. I prepped for All Star, two hours a day in the gym and spinning classes here and there to try and firm up my booty. I found a tanning lotion that gave me a good, even, natural looking tan and used it every single day. I had met a lot of people, worked 12-18 hour days and by the time it was all over I was so worn out I stayed in bed for two days straight, I actually slept most of that time. I slept well those days, better than I had slept in a very long time.

"I'm no stranger to hard work but I am 33, older than most of the girls in the strip club. I get worn down a little faster than those girls do even though I can get by for younger when I need to. I'm of mixed heritage, my mother is a white woman, and my father is black. I have a skin tone that's pretty light, if my hair weren't as kinky as it is, I may not look like a black woman at all short of my hourglass figure and full lips. I'm lucky, right now, my look happens to be 'in'. I wear my hair either in loose, wet looking curls piled up on top of my head, a huge Afro or a huge Afro puff. I tend to get the most compliments, money and attention when I wear the big Afro puff on top of my head. My hair is almost blond. It's a dirty blond color and gets lighter in the summer from the sun. Living in Phoenix makes me darn close to blond most of the time. There aren't too many girls walking around with blond hair that can be worn in an Afro. That's a good thing my look is unique. My eyes are hazel and the Hollywood personality I get compared to the most is 'Gina' from the television show 'Martin'. I personally don't think I look like the girl but I hear it so often that we must have some resemblance

"I first found a strip club in San Francisco that I wanted to work in when I searched online. The few people I talked with about it at the club in Phoenix mentioned to me that there was only one black club in San Francisco and the same place always came up. I hadn't even considered working anywhere else while I was in The Bay area. There was only one problem for me; it was an all-nude club. I have never worked in an all-nude club. I had actually made an unofficial promise to myself years ago, when I had started dancing that all nude was something I would not do. Of course, I say unofficial only because I was strongly considering breaking that promise by the time my plane touched down at Oakland International. 'My man' had gone in and checked out the club for me before I got there. He talked with the manager and was told that if I wasn't comfortable dancing naked then I didn't have to dance naked. The manager failed to mention to him that my not getting naked would mean I wouldn't be working in his particular club. I guess he figured that if he got me in the doors and in a thong, I'd take the thong off before I'd get dressed and go work in another club where all the girls were pencil thin, the music wasn't to my liking, the customers were not my normal crowd and I'd probably be even less comfortable, even wearing a thong. There was something to be said for working in a black club when you have a curvy figure; it's more comfortable and simply more profitable. What they call 'big' in any other club is what they call 'thick' in a black club and in a black club, 'thick' is what every girl wants to be. I'm happy with the size that I am and my body was tight from training for a few months. Let's just say you would compare me more to Beyonce than you ever would either of the other girls from Destiny's Child, Kelly or Michelle. I have that type of curvy figure; only I am not as small or nearly as perfect as Beyonce but even if I do say so myself, I love my figure.

"Judging from the girls' pictures on the website I thought I would be hired there without a lot of trouble. The girls that already worked there were similar to the girls I had worked with at the club in Phoenix and when I got there I realized a couple of them were the exact same girls I had worked with in Phoenix at one time or another. I knew the music, it was the same stuff I had danced to before and I figured the nudity thing would either be something I was comfortable with or I just wouldn't do it. I could dance in a thong and just tell them I didn't do naked, right? Yeah... Right.

"We headed over The Bay Bridge to San Francisco and the new club for the first time on a Tuesday, truth be told, I was genuinely scared, even a little terrified. The city of San Francisco is a big place and it's disheartening. Everyone knows San Francisco, everyone comes to San Francisco, it's my hometown and I wanted everything to go perfectly. I think when I stop being afraid to work in a new club or stop getting nervous right before I take the stage, that's when I should probably worry. It's only natural; it doesn't make sense not to be nervous. This time though, I think I was more nervous than I had ever been before. It was a nude club, I didn't know anyone in the club at all and I was comfortable working at my club in Phoenix, a new environment is always intimidating.

"We got there around 10PM and my man got carded and frisked like a common criminal when he came through the door. He paid the cover and went and sat down in a chair off in the corner somewhere, far away from the stage. There was a lobby and off to the left of the lobby was a long staircase leading upstairs to a second floor. At the top of that staircase Daniel leaned over the railing, the man that managed the club. He summoned me upstairs and I obliged, smiling, still a bundle of nerves. Upstairs was a VIP area. It was set up nicely with leather couches and a pole in the corner with mirrors against the walls behind it. The DJ booth was up there also and another sitting area that overlooked the floor downstairs. There was some type of window surrounding that area so that you could look down and see clearly. Down below, on the main floor was a long, glossy stage, set up kind of like a catwalk. There were floor to ceiling poles on either end of the catwalk/stage and mirrors along the wall behind it. There were large black, leather chairs on either side of the stage and also in the large area in front of the stage, where it ended and was circular. Other than that though, the floor in front of the stage was wide open and the rest of the leather chairs only lined the walls. It seemed there was more standing room than sitting room in the main area of the club. There were only 3 guys, other than mine, that were sitting down there watching the show and the girl on the stage danced slowly, same as we did in Phoenix. She had a nice figure and a cute style. She wore a top with a hood and sunglasses and surprisingly it looked really cute and sexy. I watched as she danced and the manager and one of the bouncers rambled on and on, singing the clubs praises, showing me pictures on their Apple computer, of the girls dancing and collecting piles and piles of ones.

"Fortunately I knew from experience that a HUGE pile of ones, sprinkled all over a stage counted down to a hundred or maybe a hundred and fifty dollars at the end of the night. Usually, when any of the guys in the audience wanted to show out, they wouldn't throw more than that at any particular girl. Once in while, you'd get someone that would do it, at All Star, they definitely did, competing to see who had more money to blow, but on the regular and in those pictures, it didn't look like the girls were making much more than a couple hundred on each stage. It looked and felt like so much more than that when you collected it from the stage but the truth is, they're all ones. If you put a hundred and fifty bills anywhere, it looks like a lot and when you throw it in the air and let it fall all over the floor it looks like even more. The money counted down and spent the same though, no matter what it looked or felt like when you got it. I could tell by looking that even though they were telling me about the four and five hundred dollars the girls made on stage all the time, it generally wasn't nearly that much. 'Making it Rain' had definitely changed the way we got tipped in strip-clubs; flying one-dollar bills were the norm. I played along, made my eyeballs big when they looked over to see if I was impressed. Daniel then mentioned, very nonchalantly, that he was ready to walk me to the dressing room now, so that I could get dressed to audition. I looked down and the girl on the stage was butt naked. That took me a little by surprise.

"I was surprised that even though she was naked I thought she looked far more attractive with her thong on. Her nakedness took all of the mystery and imagination out of it, there was nothing mysterious about her at all, it wasn't nearly as sexy, in my opinion. I had some questions of my own.

'Well, is it OK if I ask you a couple of questions first?" I asked. I tried to sound innocent and non-threatening which usually I had a knack for but my nervousness seemed to overpower my ability to sound like the harmless damsel in distress.

Daniel looked at me like I had grown horns but he quickly snapped out of it. "Sure. Yeah, what's up?"

How much do you guys charge to work, per night? Is it a percentage or a flat rate?" I'm good with numbers, especially when it came to adding up my money or potential money and I was ready to crunch numbers, whatever reply he offered me.

Well," He looked confused, as if I had asked him something he didn't know the answer to. He didn't say anything for a couple of minutes. He tried to busy himself with the computer, going through a list of songs, looking for one to play next. Then he finally answered but he sounded unsure of himself. "We're making some changes within the club so nothing is set in stone right now, it just all depends. It depends how busy the night is, how many girls are here, that kind of thing..." I waited for the rest of his answer. I expected him to tell me the ranges in price for working and how they broke it down. He didn't say anything else. That was the end of his answer.

“ Um, OK. Well, how much are dances?"

“You charge what you want to charge for dances. What do y'all charge out there in Phoenix?"

I looked at him with a half smile. He had to be messing with me. I had never heard anything like that in my life! I saw his reaction, he wasn't messing with me, and he was dead serious. He was waiting for me to say something, so I answered him. "Well, our dances are $10 on the floor and $20 in the VIP section but I don't dance naked, only topless."

Now he had a response, without any hesitation. "Well, this is a nude club so if you dance here, you're gonna be naked." He smiled. "Let me show you down to the dressing room and you can get dressed to audition."

He was rushing me, blowing off my questions. If I hadn't known better I would think he was actually foaming at the mouth. He was acting like a customer when he sees you walk into the club and can't believe his luck when he realizes he'll have an opportunity to see you naked. That was the vibe I was getting from Daniel. With his being the manager of the club he couldn't possibly be that interested in seeing any one particular girl naked, he saw naked girls way too much to even notice, I would think.

You ready? What's the hold up?" He seemed way too anxious for me to be comfortable with just following his lead.

Yeah, yeah, hold on, slow down a little bit... So, you guys let the girls charge whatever they want for dances and the house fees depend on, what?" I looked at him once more, curious. This time he looked pissed.

It's not gonna matter what the house is or what dances cost if you don't get the job, is it?" He had even gone as far as to slightly raise his voice. Obviously he felt threatened by so many questions he didn't know the answer to in front of this other guy, whom I gathered was a bouncer. "So, why don't we get you down to the dressing room and get you changed and then we'll see if you get the job before we get into anymore questions." He turned on his heel and started toward the stairs.

I think I'll come back and audition. I'm not sure I'm ready to do this full nude thing. I haven't wrapped my head around it yet. Do I look like the kind of girl you would hire in here, I mean, as long as I know how to dance on stage, do you think I'll be alright?" I tried to sound worried but I already knew the answer to that question, so I wasn't sure exactly how worried I sounded. I had done my research and a tall, curvy, light-skinned girl with DD breasts is an asset in any club, especially an all black club. He stopped and looked at me, he looked pissed again.

Why would you come down here and not audition today?" He shook his head no. "You have your things, we have a stage, lets get you auditioned. You may not understand we get 300 people or more in here Friday and Saturday nights. You need to audition today! This way, if you get the job," He stopped talking for a few seconds; I guess it was his idea of a dramatic pause. Yeah, right, if I get the job... "You’ll still have tonight, and then a couple more nights and you'll probably need that to get ready for the big crowd we have in here over the weekend." To him it sounded like he was making perfect sense, obviously, but I wasn't about to change into anything. Had I done that, this man would've had the mistaken ideal that he was running the show when it came to me and that was not an option.

I replied with confidence, hoping he would realize that it would make more sense to just stop pushing me...

"I just worked All Star weekend in Phoenix. I have no problem working a crowd, I won't need to 'get ready' or 'practice' for the weekend. I just have to make sure I'm comfortable with what I'm doing so I'm gonna come back in a couple of days, when I'm feeling a little better about it and audition, if that's alright with you." I looked at him and waited for his reply and for a few seconds I didn't get one.

Then, "Why don't you at least leave me your number and stuff?" I looked at him, confused, there had been no application, no forms to fill out, he hadn't even asked for an I.D., what did he need my number for? It seemed as if he read my mind. "So that I can get in touch with you, let you know if it's cool to audition." I rattled off the phone number for 'my man's' cell phone and started toward the staircase that lead back to the lobby.

OK then, why don't you just come on back next week or something and audition, we'll just see you then." He was still talking, rambling as I headed down the stairs and he was right behind me. I just nodded. I walked onto the main floor and tapped 'my man' on the shoulder. "You ready?" He looked up at me. "Let's go." He stood up and we walked out together. When we were at the door Daniel decided he would go ahead and recognize 'my man'. Funny how his memory was selective and he didn't recognize him when we came in and he had to pay a cover ($40 to get through the door in that place!). He had known who he was all along but his 'pimp' strategy I guess required that he didn't acknowledge him unless he had to. My man ignored him except for a brief nod of his head and we were out the door.

I explained to him what had happened upstairs on the way back to the house and he agreed that it was a better idea to leave, make sure Mr. David knew that I wasn't some young, hot girl, desperate to work, wherever. It makes a big difference when the management and the people that run the show in these places have respect for you. It’s hard enough to do the job in itself but without the respect of management it can be too much. We stopped off at the nightclub his company worked with and then headed home.

By the next day Daniel had sent a text, inviting me 'personally' to a private Birthday party for the clubs owner Thursday night. The club would be rented out to the male strippers that night and all of the ladies and folks that worked with them at the club would be at the owners birthday party, Daniel wanted me to come. I smiled at 'my man.' "I told you he would call or text. He's acting like a customer!" We both laughed. We agreed we would make sure and show our faces at that Birthday party!

Thursday night was also the night 'my mans' company was responsible to promote every week at the nightclub in Oakland. We could reserve other nights as well but every Thursday was ours no matter what, so that was first priority. I sent a text back about 10PM, Thursday night, asking how late the party was scheduled to go. I got '4AM' as a reply within less than a minute. So, we took care of our obligations at the nightclub and then headed over to make sure I showed my face at the owners' party. I figured in doing that I would end up being able to work over the weekend without a problem. I wasn't going to work anywhere though until I knew the details. It would be easy for these guys to say they charged the girls depending on what type of crowd they got and then just take half of everyone’s money at the end of the night. That wouldn't work for me. The highest house fee I'd ever paid had been over All Star week/week-end. It had been $150 a night for the regular girls that always worked at the club and $250 a night for all the girls that had come from out of town. The DJ's each took $50 as well and there were always 2 of them, so All Star had not been cheap to work. Normally the house fee at my club was no more than $50 and that was if you came really late, it was usually more like $35, then 10% of what you make to tip the DJ and that was it. I was really anxious to find out what kind of house fee they were going to try and charge me to work the weekend nights.

We showed up at the 'private' party about 2AM. It was at a really nice club in Oakland; there was no cover to get in. There were table’s set up with white tablecloths and a huge cake was set up on the stage. When we walked in they were looking for the birthday boy and the cake was lit up with a whole lot of candles, the guy was turning 40. It took a good 10 minutes to find him and then someone sang 'Happy Birthday' beautifully and the entire crowd clapped and tried to sing along. There were scantily clad women pawing all over him, in bikinis and even less, just standing by.

This was not my crowd and I didn't feel comfortable at the party at all. I felt like it was bad enough I had to work in a strip club but I didn't like to spend my free time partying with the 'strip club' crowd as well. The fact of the matter was though, I wanted to work that weekend and in order to do that I would have to show my face at this party and try and be sociable. I was getting plenty of attention, which gave me confidence I would do well at the club. With most of the girls that worked in the club probably there that night, for me to be getting as much attention as I was meant I would probably do just fine there. 'My man' brought me a drink that was way too strong for me and after taking a sip I picked up a huge chocolate covered strawberry from one of the tables and ate it to try and get the strong alcohol taste out of my mouth. I handed him back the drink and thanked him but explained that it was way too strong for me to handle. I wasn't too much of a drinker. Then I positioned myself so that I could easily introduce myself to the owner and wish him a Happy Birthday. I approached him when the crowd around him thinned out.

"Hi, I'm Ginger, I'll be auditioning at your club, hopefully this weekend. Daniel invited me, I just wanted to introduce myself and wish you a Happy Birthday." I reached out and shook his hand.

Yes, it’s nice to meet you. Happy Birthday." I returned his warm smile, which seemed genuine enough.

Well, thank you and I will probably see you at the club then." He nodded and then 'my man' went on to introduce himself as well and shake the owners' hand. With his being in promotions they would probably do well to know one another. This man didn't act at all tongue tied and unsure of himself the way Daniel had at the club. I could tell that beautiful women didn't at all throw this man off his game and being the one running a strip club, I would assume that would be a necessary asset. He was well composed and it was obvious he hadn't had nearly as much to drink as the people around him had. This told me he took his business seriously, which impressed me. What I didn't realize was the fact that a pimp took his business seriously as well, that wasn't necessarily the reflection of a good business behind the man.

We had made our appearance and headed home for the night (morning). 'My man' was plastered drunk, having finished his own drink and mine as well. The drinks he had bought were called 'Adios Muthafukka' because you'd be long gone if you drank the whole thing. It had 5 or 6 different liquors in it and it tasted to me like rubbing alcohol. I was scared on the way home, I wanted to drive myself but he wouldn't let me, thank G-d we made it. It's funny how drunken people always say silly things like, 'I drive better drunk!' No sir, we were blessed to have made it home. We stopped at Denny's and had some breakfast. Around 3AM we got another text from Daniel, he was probably drunk. "I'll be here until 4AM, you still coming?" We hadn't seen him at the party and he probably still wasn't aware that he was texting 'my mans' phone but I responded regardless.

"I was there for about an hour, looked for you but didn't see you ANYWHERE! I introduced myself to the Birthday boy though and wished him a Happy 40th. Thanks for the invite I had a good time!" Again, I got a response in less than a minute. "OK, see you soon then. Your welcome." I got to sleep right before the sun came up, expecting to be able to work the following night at the club.

Sure enough, David sent a text, as we expected, Friday around 2PM, "Are you coming in tonight? You should!" I smiled, that was my invite to work the weekend. I texted him back a response, smiling the whole time, "I'd love to, I was going to wait until next week if I had to but I'd rather come in tonight..." He responded with quickness. "See you tonight."

I got to the club this time about 10:30PM and I went in alone this time. My man wished me luck, told me he would wait outside about half an hour, just in case and otherwise to give him a call when I was ready. I went to the door and asked for Daniel, the whole vibe of the club was way different than it had been during the week. They had barricades set up by the door, so that when the crowd came they could easily form a line... There were bouncers, at least six outside, and all with 'Security' badges hanging around their necks. It was obvious they would have a bigger crowd this evening.

Daniel came out and walked me into the building; I guess he was the only one that could let me in without a cover. Let me walk you downstairs he said. The staircase was steep and it felt like it lead to a dungeon. That's when he said, "Let me show you 'The Dungeon' and the dressing rooms. He led me to the left first, into a doorway right at the bottom of the stairs. It looked like a typical dressing room but larger than I was used to. It looked comfortable in there. The chairs were high so that you could sit and you'd be high up enough to use the mirrors and do your makeup, etc. There was a huge shower back there and a refrigerator for the girls to use. There were about six ladies down there. They all seemed nice enough and introduced themselves. They weren't gorgeous but none of them were unattractive either. The difference between this dressing room and the one I was used to was that the girls here walked around the dressing room naked. In Phoenix, when we were getting ready, we usually walked around in a thong. These girls were perfectly comfortable naked and as a man walked in they seemed just as comfortable, I guess you got used to it.

Then he walked me out of the dressing room and showed me what he called 'The Dungeon.'

This is where the girls do the private dances." He said.

It was a long hallway with rooms all along on either side. Most of the smaller rooms looked the same, with a chair and a mirror and a curtain to pull shut when someone was in there. Then near the end of the hallway he showed me the 'Shower Room' and the 'S & M Room', where girls gave themed shows if customers wanted, for a little extra. I had never seen anything like it.

Come on in, let me talk with you for a minute." he said. He sat down in a high backed chair with pointed spear-like things on the back in the S & M Room, I didn't sit down.

I thought you'd come in earlier, like at 8PM tonight, its a little bit late right now, for me to let you audition, its a Friday night and we already have quite a few guys out there, I can't just put you on stage on a full fledged Friday night without ever even seeing you." He didn't say 'Without seeing you dance', he clearly said, 'Without ever even seeing you.' He looked at me apologetically, tilted his head to one side.

This was some crap, he hadn't told me what time to show up. As a matter of fact he had mentioned to me before that no one usually go there to open the club up until 9 or 9:30PM. Why would I have come as early as 8PM, to wait outside? I didn't say any of that though. I was wearing a short dress with spaghetti straps and heels that laced up my calves. I slipped my arms through the straps and let it drop to the floor. I had on a thong. I reached down to get the dress up off the floor and looked him square in the face. No smile, no crap, just looked him in the eyes.

OK, now you've seen me. You don't have to put me on stage but I came all the way out here because you invited me. It costs me $40 to even get here, $4 just to get over the bridge, then gas, we came all the way from San Pablo and someone else drives me so it's a drag. I need to be able to work the floor, at least." I turned around, slowly, Hating every minute of letting this jerk look at me.

You definitely have a nice shape. Do you have shoes to dance in, I mean... I guess you could dance in those shoes if you wanted to, those are hot." He paused. "Turn around again..."

I obliged, turned around. "I'm not shy, I've done this before. I know how to dance, so can I just work?"

Listen, why don't you just hang out tonight, get a feel for the party, the crowd. Tomorrow you can come through a little earlier and we'll audition you on stage?" He looked content with his idea.

You want me to hang out all night and not work? I have a ride waiting for me outside, if I hang out he has to come all the way back and get me, across the bridge from San Pablo. If I stay I need to be able to work and make some money tonight." He looked confused. He was obviously going to make this difficult for me. That was it, I wasn't going to beg the man, and he was being an ass.

I'll be back tomorrow at 8PM to audition on stage, then I can work tomorrow, do dances, do stages, make my money and don't have to worry about it right?" I asked him but this time my tone wasn't so friendly.

OK. I'll see you tomorrow." I slipped back into my dress. "Thank you Danny." I said. He tightened his lips at being called Danny, he obviously didn't like that, and I didn't like his attitude or his wasting my time. It wasn't my favorite thing to do these days but I could play games with the best of them. It looked like that would be the way it was going to have to be with Danny. It was his call.

On my way out, several of the bouncers asked where I was going. I smiled and I flirted. "David won't let me work tonight." I fixed my mouth in a pout. "He says I showed up too late." I looked over in his direction, knowing he heard me making him into the bad guy. One of the other girls brushed against me on her way into work. One of the bouncers noticed her coming in right away.

"She just got here!" He looked over at Daniel for an explanation. Danny looked confused and didn't know what to say.

"Man, why don't you let her work?" Another bouncer asked him, putting him on the spot. "Man, you need to let her work."

Danny still hadn't responded. I could tell his peers easily persuaded him. I could see him struggling to come up with a way to recant his earlier decision not to let me on the stage that night. I took the weight off his shoulders.

It's cool guys; I already have my ride coming. No worries, I'll be here nice and early and ready to go tomorrow night, I promise!" I winked at Daniel and headed down the street. I made sure I paid careful attention to my walk and didn't turn around. I wanted these guys to be waiting for me tomorrow, set the tone for the customers, if the bouncers and the doorman, were excited about me, then the customers would be excited about me. The doorman always let the guys know who was hot, they let VIP customers know who to call into the VIP, they could make or break a girl and I wanted them to like me so that I would make plenty of cash my first night there.

'My man' had parked abut half a block down but in such a way that no one in front of the club could see where I had walked or what car I got into. There was a little parking area across the street and on the corner but there were enough cars parked there that it would have been impossible to tell which one I was headed for from half a block away. That was if they could even tell that I was walking into that particular parking area from that far away. Thank G-d he had enough forethought to stay half an hour, just in case something went astray. I felt so relieved to see 'my man' standing next to that car, smoking a cigarette. He looked disappointed. We were both broke so we were both counting on my being able to work that night. He had spent his own stack of cash wining and dining me and showing me a great time for the first few days I was there. It was nice but I wish I had known it meant we would run out of money. By the time I realized that we were already out. Tomorrow wouldn't be too late though and I needed to set up a foundation for my relationship with the manager in order to make it possible for me to have a comfortable working environment in the future. Just like in a relationship, you set the tone from the very start and it was not something that was easily changed after it had been established, so it was important.

I explained the situation and 'my man' was disappointed but he knew that begging to work or acting as if I wouldn't take no for an answer would have been a bad idea and not worth the trouble it probably would have caused me in the future. We both decided to just be sure and be there no later than 8PM the following night and be at my very best.

The next night I sent a text to Danny to make sure he would be there by 8PM. He responded just as fast as he had before, telling me he was glad I asked he wouldn't be there until 9PM. I was glad I asked myself. If I had to wait an hour it would have messed up my mood, I would have been pissed and that was never good. I showed up at 9PM, hurried downstairs to change my clothes and was on the floor and ready to audition by 9:20PM. There was only one other girl there when I arrived and she said that she was new also but she had also auditioned Tuesday and worked all week. They told her she would have to audition again before she could work a weekend night. I was surprised at that but maybe she hadn't danced before and she needed a little time to get comfortable on stage. When I got to the main floor there were at least 15 guys sitting in the leather chairs around the floor and David was no where to be found. I walked upstairs by the DJ booth in the VIP section and figured this way, wherever he was, I would be able to locate him, overlooking the club from up there. I waited 40 minutes, still, no David. The club was starting to fill up and I had been up by the DJ booth long enough. No one had gone on stage but the guys down there seemed patient enough. This surprised me considering they didn't serve drinks and there were no TV screens or anything downstairs. There was no DJ in the DJ booth either, the door was closed and the music must have been playing off of a play-list.

Finally, about 10PM David came upstairs along with the DJ and they smelled like they had been in a room full of pot smoke for the past hour, which they probably had. David smiled when he saw me in a skimpy bikini and heels.

Hi beautiful. I didn't forget about you, I just had to take care of some last minute things, unexpected. He looked downstairs. The DJ walked into his booth and announced that 'Pantera' would be first on stage, next song. I looked over at David;

So, will I be up after her? How many songs do you guys do in a set?" I was going to audition before I got into him about the money, fees I had to pay, etc. I knew if I went on stage he would want me to stay and the more he wanted me to stay the less he was likely to charge me to work. He wanted me to stay now but he would want me to stay more after he let me do a stage show.

Don't trip. I can let you work the floor. What I want you to do is greet these guys as they come in from the lobby. Let them know who you are... Ask them if they've been here before... If they haven't, take them downstairs, show them around the dungeon, let them know that's where they get a private dance and all so that they know how we do things around here." He looked over at me then. I wish I had known at that time that he wanted me to give these guys a tour and show them around so that I would have no misconceptions about how they did things there, not the guys. I guess he figured the more I was down in the dungeon the faster I would figure things out and that way I wouldn't be so confused. "Look, you won't have to pay any fees to work tonight, you can just get a feel for the place, make some tips..."

I interrupted him. "What if these guys want a dance? Can I dance for them? I mean on the floor?" If the answer to my question were yes, we wouldn't have any problems at all. If there was one thing I could do, it was hustle. When I put my mind to it, I could make money. I do a damn good lap dance and I know how to tell a man exactly what he wants to hear in order to make him feel comfortable taking everything he could spend that evening and handing it all directly over to me.

Listen Ginger, show these guys around introduce yourself, let them know who you are and if they want a dance come and talk to me and we can see if that's something you'll want to do, alright?" I just looked at him. If it weren't for the fact that my man and I were flat broke I would have talked a bunch of crap and told David to give me a call when he was serious and I could dance on the stage and on the floor and downstairs, same as all the other girls there. Now that I know what else was going on in that club I know why he did things that way. He had to make sure that I knew what a 'dance' downstairs was and how things really worked. This was not a process he could easily explain to me. It was the kind of thing no one talked about and I would have to figure out for myself.

I agreed to his terms and headed downstairs. I watched the girls as they came up, one by one and danced. It was SO different to see a girl dancing naked than it was to see a girl dancing in a thong. It was like the difference between Playboy and Hustler. One was classy and sexy (Well as classy as you can be doing what I did.) and the other was pretty vulgar. Vulgar can be something everyone wants from time to time but I really think the time and the place for vulgar is in the privacy of your own home with your partner. The girls weren't as attractive naked, there was nothing left to the imagination, which was where most of our game came in at the other bar. 'I have something you want but you can't have it.' The guys felt like we were untouchable, this made us far more valuable to them.

These girls were far from untouchable. They stripped down naked on the stage and climbed the poll, sliding down with legs wide open. They would climb off the stage and bend over so that their ass was maybe a half-inch from a customers face and as if that weren't enough, these chicks reach back there and add their fingers to the mix while they were bouncing and shaking in these guys’ faces! Splits butt naked on stage, girl on girl, faces way too close for comfort! These girls were spread eagle on their backs, on all fours, on one leg, in a back-bend... They played with themselves; they played with each other...

I walked up a flight of stairs close to the stage and it lead me to an area that went along the wall, there was a railing and a bench along the wall so that you could sit and look down on the main floor without being in the VIP section over by the DJ booth. It was the only spot in the club where there weren't a lot of people crowded around. I needed to clear my head. The smell was atrocious and I am not exaggerating. I had never come into contact with a smell at all similar and it was really, really unpleasant. I was starting to get a headache and I thought of something that I always try and think of when I want to throw in the towel... 'The sooner you start, the sooner you finish...' I headed downstairs and tried to start a conversation with a man that was obviously staring me down. That was over pretty quickly, the music was so loud I couldn't hear a thing. I wandered away from him as quickly as I had approached the man. I looked over at the door to 'The Dungeon' and right as I did one of the dancers escorted a couple downstairs, handing the doorman that seemed to be 'on guard' at the door to the stairway two $20 bills. Why did she hand him money? The couple happily followed her down the stairs and I watched as long as I could. I wanted to know what went on down there and why she handed the doorman $40.

I looked around the room for any man that looked like he didn't know what was going on anymore than I did. I could find someone and give him a 'tour'. This way I could figure out what went on at the same time. I looked up at the stage then, just as one girl straddled another girls face and made it look as if they were doing the '69'. I wasn't sure if I could work in this place. My stomach was upset, I felt like I would throw up at any moment and my head was pounding. I had only been there a couple hours though and I was not willing to give up that easily...

...To Be Continued...